Every. Single. Day.

I wrote this post a while ago now. At the time, there had been a particularly rough stretch of citizen and police brutality against children. Sadly, I’m sure you will remember the references. I’m publishing it today, not because passions continue to flare over injustice – though, I think that’s important too – but because another story about a child being abused and assaulted by law enforcement emerged this week. Perhaps you read about it?

A fourteen year old girl was hit by a car and knocked unconscious while riding her bike in Hagerstown, Maryland. When police arrived on the scene, she did not want her parents to be involved and refused treatment. Officers proceeded to struggle with her to keep her at the scene, going so far as to pepper spray her multiple times through the window of the police car where she was detained. Did she attempt to leave the scene? Yes. Did she resist detainment? Yes. Was there a legitimate reason for her to be detained? Well, I’m not at all clear as to why other than to make sure she was not hurt. Of course, you might understand why, in today’s climate, a black girl (boy, woman, man) would not want to participate in a police investigation, even when she’s the victim! In any case, if the police were honestly concerned about her wellbeing after being hit by a car, why were they manhandling her? Why did they pepper spray her instead of taking her to the hospital? Would they have treated a white girl this way? 

Let’s be clear, I am not a cop hater. Far from it. Just as I don’t believe all Muslims are horrible people because a select few become terrorists, I also don’t believe all police officers are bad guys because some terrorize minorities. I’m sure there are those of you who are uncomfortable with that parallel. I won’t apologize. How can we not shine a light on excessive force in law enforcement? How can we not acknowledge the inequalities? How can we not stand up and protest when even one bad apple thinks it’s ok to treat children this way?!

So, today, for the 14-year-old girl in Hagerstown, MD, and the many other children like her, I’m finally rolling this out. I welcome your thoughts.

—

For a long time, I wholeheartedly bought into the notion that America was a worldwide beacon of liberty and inclusion. Land of the Free. Melting pot. Equality. It’s an awe-inspiring ideal. We’ve fought wars on these grounds, for ourselves and others. And yet, every single day I wake up to new stories about children…let’s let that sink in, CHILDREN…being harassed, demeaned, detained, deported, abused, beaten, arrested, imprisoned…terrorized…because they are different. Because they are not perfect little straight white cisgendered financially-secure Christian children.

Believe me, I am just as angry and fired up about what’s happening to adults too. But can we at least start to see and hear the truth when it’s children? Children doing the things that children do, which yes, often includes mischief. Trying new things, testing boundaries, creatively expressing themselves in ways that may or may not be acceptable in adulthood but are so fundamentally a part of and critical to human development.

We’ve all been there.  If there was a rule to be bended or broken, I or someone I knew did it. — Sneaking contraband into class. Cutting school. Shoplifting. Defacing property. Breaking curfew. Raiding the liquor cabinet. Stealing a smoke. — Kids do these things. Of course, for most of us “getting caught” wasn’t a life-threatening proposition. We were held to a reasonable standard, not a different standard.  We faced consequences, not the ultimate consequence. Our parents and teachers were trusted to handle lessons about boundaries, limits, and consequences.  These were not opportunities for the authorities or anyone else to “teach us a lesson” about how our uniqueness, our differences, made us unwelcome here.

Sure, there absolutely are “the good ones”, those brave souls who risk their lives to fight for our safety and freedom. Those who are smart, savvy, capable, confident, and kind enough to evaluate, without assumption, the reasonable ways to respond to kids being kids.

But every single day, it seems, I read another story about the bad ones. The ones who speak for us all with a raised hand, a fist, a baton, a gun. And for what? For mischief? For playing cops and robbers with the neighborhood kids? For being inventive? For fighting against the odds? For trying to help? For not having blond hair and blue eyes? No. That’s not ok.  Do not speak for me on this! That is not my message. That is not my belief. That is not my America.

If this doesn’t enrage us, we are part of the problem. Not standing up for those who don’t have a voice, or for those whose voice is muffled by a false patriotism, are complicit here too. Silence = Death. And I am the first to admit that includes me. I read the stories, I hear the news.  What do I do?  I get angry.  It’s a step, yes, but only the first one. It most certainly cannot be the last.  I’m searching, desperate to figure out how to be a better advocate and activist for a solution. Not just awareness, but measurable, palpable, see-it-with-my-own-eyes change. For these kids. Children.

America should be better than this. We are better than this. I am better than this.

This or That: Churros

Fun fact: churros were one of the first food items that RF and I bonded over. There were (still are?) churro carts at the L.A. Coliseum. RF was not much of a sports fan back in the day, but the churros and I managed to lure him to a few of our college football games. Stadium food isn’t usually the best version of any given item, but those churros were really delicious! The perfect ratio of crunchy exterior to fluffy interior with exactly the right amount of cinnamon-y sugar sprinkled over the entire churro. Always hot, never greasy. We haven’t found a suitable replacement since.

Sooo…we had very high hopes for the churros here in Spain. When the holiday market opened in front of our building, there was a stand on every single corner along the route. It seems they’ve cut back now that the height of the season is passing, but there is still a holdout practically right outside our door.  So, we’ve sampled our fair share. We also ventured to a highly rated shop I discovered on Yelp, where we tried stuffed churros.  Oh yes, you read that right!  And how do they compare??

 

On the left we have Xurreria Anna Maria, street vendor to the stars…ok, just us regular folks, but we have lots of churro stars in our eyes!

On the right, Xurreria San Roman. Founded in 1969, there are two storefront locations in Barcelona – Eixample and Sant Andreu.

Though they offer chocolate covered and stuffed churros, as well as bunyols, potato chips, and various other fried delights, Xurreria Anna Maria has been our consistent source for traditional churros:

Traditional Churro Pros:

1. Always warm. Fried pastry that’s gone cold can get mushy and lack the full flavor of its warm counterpart.
2. Nicely crisped exterior. Fried foods can quickly go from golden to burnt – burnt is never good.
3. Lots of sugar. Xurreria Anna Maria is generous in their sugaring. We stopped at a small stand early in our visit where they skimped on the sugar, rendering the churros quite plain.

Traditional Churro Cons:

1. Too skinny. Not something that either of us will be after eating so many churros! But, a skinny churro lacks the fluffy center that I love.
2. No cinnamon. While sugar is sweet, a little spice is also nice. A mix of sugar and cinnamon was the default option of our early churro experiences, but we haven’t that choice here at all.
3. We can’t figure out the system! OK, this isn’t a quality of the churro, but every time we’ve gone to buy these churros, there’s a different system…buy them by weight, buy a certain number, ask for a certain number get a certain weight. Obviously, the real problem is that we don’t speak Catalan.  But how hard can it be to buy churros?!

Speaking of the system, we didn’t really know what it was at Xurreria San Roman either. We pointed and asked for one of each flavor, which we mistakenly thought was two.  Not so!  They offer three filling options: chocolate, dulce de leche, and crema. Why choose?! We took one of each.

Stuffed Churro Pros:

Well that’s easy… 1. Chocolate. 2. Dulce de leche. 3. Crema! Okay, okay…more details.

1. Amazing fillings! We had a little smackdown between us about the best filling. For RF, chocolate was the hands-down winner. Crema was easily my fave. The chocolate was rich and thick, definitely very delicious, but IMHO more like cake frosting than a pastry filling. RF had zero problems with this, and about the same amount of love for the much lighter, vanilla-y custard that I adored. Eh, more for me.
2. Doughy churro. The actual churro part of these is much doughier than the traditionals, probably because it needs to be thicker to hold the filling.  I like that.
3. Caramelized, sugar-coated exterior. If we were in diabetic shock already, the exteriors were nicely browned and the sugar was applied right out of the frier, not when we ordered them, so it had a nice little bit of caramelization to it.

Stuffed Churro Cons:

1. Cold. I’m sure that San Roman already does a big business, but I’m guessing that they could stir up some serious enthusiasm with the addition of a Krispy Kreme “hot now” sign. Cold churros just aren’t as delicious.
2. Dulce de leche. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but neither of us really cared for the caramel filling. It was dense like the chocolate filling, was overly sweet (I know! How is that possible?! Trust me, it is!!), and had a bit of a burnt aftertaste. I would be willing to give it another try, in case of an off day, but we both had such solid winners that we probably wouldn’t chance it.
3. Take it away! OK, this is just about as petty as “Can’t figure out the system!”, but if you spring for the storefront, why not add a few little tables and make some coffee? There are a couple of stools that face a small wall counter, so you can sit, but you can’t people watch or even really enjoy being there. We took our churros to a nearby park. If they had been hot when we bought them, they wouldn’t have been by the time we found a place to sit and enjoy them. Meh.

WINNER: The golden paper bag goes to…Traditional Churro! Hands down. You won’t get any arguments from us that the stuffed churro is amazing. We oohed and ahhed over them, for sure. But, they’re definitely more of a special treat that we might seek out 2-3 times a year, especially given all of the other chocolate-covered and cream-filled options in town. But traditional churros make a terrific snack, dessert, or even breakfast! They’re not nearly as heavy and you can buy two or ten, whatever you’re in the mood for. Or, at least we think that’s how it works! Suffice it to say, we’ll be pretty bummed when the churro truck disappears.

This or That: Eyeliner

Time for a new feature here on Year of Months: This or That?  Our first showdown is between two eyeliners.

Left: Smashbox Always Sharp Waterproof Kohl Liner
vs.
Right: Sonia Kashuk Twist-Up Longwear Liner

I’ve been using this Smashbox liner for a long time, but a very fashionable friend of mine recently recommended the Sonia Kashuk liner.  She’s a total convert, so I had to give it a try.

 

Smashbox Pros:

1. Always sharp – a sneaky sharpener hidden inside the cap maintains the perfect point for clean, fine lines.
2. Color selection – seven great colors, including my favorites: French Navy and Storm Grey. Plus, several more sparkly options in their “3D” version.
3. Waterproof – as a copywriter who stares at computer screens all day, my eyes can get irritated and watery. Waterproof makeup is always a bonus.

Sonia Kashuk Pros:

1. Gel formula – glides on smoothly and blends easily giving you the option of a clean line or smokey eye.
2. Longwear – while this isn’t billed as waterproof, the liner definitely stays put throughout the day.
3. Price – Only $7.99!

Smashbox Cons:

1. Price – $20.  I’m definitely not buying this one in bulk.
2. Always sharp – As much as I love this feature, I feel like I’m wasting product when it shaves a little bit off every time I close the cap.

Sonia Kashuk Cons:

1. Color selection – Only four colors, and all are sparkly.  I don’t always feel sparkly.  The deep violet (aka black tanzanite) is pretty, but I do love how Smashbox’s French Navy matches my limbal ring (settle down, it’s that dark line around your iris…if you have one.)
2. Sharpness – while this liner does twist up, the tip dulls with use.  Most of the time, I prefer a clean line to a smokey eye, which is harder to achieve once the tip smushes down.

WINNER: This is a tough one, but I have to give it to Smashbox. Truth be told, I like having both options in my makeup bag. At only $7.99, I can buy several Sonia Kashuk liners for the price of just one Smashbox, and it does create a reliably long-lasting line.  But, Smashbox wins the overall vote for offering my preferred colors and a precision line every time.